If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
