I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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