Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
