saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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