How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
