man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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