Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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