Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Then you guys just all showered together...?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
