omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
