I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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