we're chasing vodka with high fives
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
