Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
