I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
