If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
