I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
