this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
