what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
