I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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