we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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