let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
