those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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