you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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