This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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