he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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