Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he shaved USA in his pubs
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
