I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
