I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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