I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
