Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
