NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
