I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
