I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
