Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
