you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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