I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
