I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
