Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
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