how can u be prego again
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
