miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
