I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
