Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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