I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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