Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
