Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
