Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
