Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
