I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This girl is more easily done than said...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
