I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
