What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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