for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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