Whod you bang
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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