I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
this hospital has no fireball
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
