What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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