mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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