My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
