I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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