i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
