Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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