there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
