It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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