weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
