Screwed.edu
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
