Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
